"Real Moms" versus Supermoms--lowering expectations and increasing happiness

I just read a very interesting white paper courtesy of Ad Age entitled "The New Female: The Rise of the Real Moms. (http://.adage.com/whitepapers/index.php)

Among other things, the white paper noted that the younger generation of moms, unlike their predecessors (that would be me and my friends) understands the inherent trade-offs of motherhood and don't strive to be "Supermom" just "real moms" (lower case intentional). So, they don't expect themselves to be captains of industry plus Martha Stewart (or Rachel Ray) plus Mother of the Year. They are OK with just being OK. Smart ladies!

This definitely rang true for me. A few data points--I've had several friends tell me that their teenage or young adult daughters have commented that they don't intend to repeat their mother's lives. They perceive their mothers as stressed out, working too hard and (by implication), not available enough to their families. I've also noticed a wonderful tendency on the mommy blogs for moms to cop to their less-than-perfect approach to motherhood. (My favorite mommy blog name: Wiping Asses, Taking Names)

I feel a sense of relief knowing that 20 and 30 something moms will not drive themselves as crazy as their Baby Boomer counterparts. What's the point, really, if it means a life of constantly feeling tense and rushed.

So, what's the connection to parties, you may ask? Well, if you love to plan parties, sweat the details, create elaborate menus, decorations, and activities, that's great. I salute you. But if you are doing it to fulfill some internal vision of perfect motherhood, then run, don't walk to your nearest Chuckie Cheese or Paint your own Pottery place and let someone else do it for you. Give yourself permission to be a "real mom" with all its inherent messiness and trade-offs. The kids will be fine.